Play Fair

Play Fair • Be Queer • Self Care

Mother Superior’s Instructions &

Tips for Self Care

Several months ago, Mother Superior noticed a lot of sniffing, coughing, grimacing, twitching, scratching and farting around the convent. Several Sisters were complaining about itchy pussies, burning buttholes, sore balls, swollen glands, drippy discharges, sore throats, lumps, bumps and tingling between their legs (and not the good kind).

When Mother Superior found a crab walking up her leg, she decided to get to the bottom of all these ills. It seems these Sisters were suffering from numerous Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and thought perhaps folks outside the convent could benefit from some saintly suggestions. We give these diseases to ourselves and others; and we can do something to stop them in their tracks. Self care and care for others is the purpose of this pamphlet. If we make an effort towards self care, we will all be better off when getting off. Let’s always Play Fair! Cum clean – even if you don't think that you have an STI, consider getting checked out before putting others at risk. Be sure you do what you can to protect yourself and others. After all, we’re very special people!

Now About Guilt:

This is the deadliest of Infections. It hides in the deepest, darkest places in our hearts and minds. We often don't even know we have it.

Symptoms: Feeling bad after a trip to the bars, baths, bushes, and tearooms, waking in someone else's bed or watching porn. Low self-esteem, excessive drug use, being mean and/or judgmental to friends, family, co-workers or total strangers.

Symptoms Appear: From two to three years of age and in many cases persist throughout life. If Untreated: Can result in loss of ability to be happy; loss of spontaneity; large therapy bills, loss of love; Random Acts of Meanness; impotence; sexual dysfunction; excessive drug use; epidemics of sexually transmitted diseases.

How You Get It: Someone Else's Family Values; Catholic, Jewish, Mormon or Muslim schools; three or more hours of TV a day; America Online; letting someone else decide what is good for you; politicians.

Cure: Respect and love yourself; Random Acts of Kindness; your own family values; a good giggle; lighten up.